81-year-old Nonna’s secret to life – Antonietta – my Italian MIL shares what life’s all about. The interview is only in Italian but check out the summary below and the English translated transcript, if you case you want all the details from the interview.

Audio: Nonna’s Secret to Life Interview (Italian only, sorry!)

Interview Summary

I’m SO GLAD I got the opportunity to chat with my 81-year-old Italian mother-in-law, Antonietta, while she was here visiting us. I find the stories of our parents to be so interesting, but do we ever take the time to sit down and really ask questions and listen? I wish I had done this while my own Mom was still alive, so I was determined to not miss this chance with Antonietta.

I asked her what her secret to a long and happy life is, considering everything she does is contra to what I preach on my blog—ha! She smokes, she drinks, she’s survived two heart attacks for hell’s sake!! And yet at 81, she’s still going very strong…always in high heels, obvs.

My MIL revealed that her secret is to stay calm, have patience, and be content with yourself. She emphasized the importance of self-love and finding the good in others. Despite not always getting what she wanted, she prioritized serving and pleasing those close to her.

She’s had a long and sometimes very difficult life thus far. Still, she regrets nothing. She said she’d do everything exactly the same.

She often wondered herself whether she would live this long, especially during those difficult times and when she was not well, but she had just always hoped to spend more time with her family.

One thing Antonietta wished she would have done, had she known she would live this long, is go to school and study psychology. She quit school at the age of 10—times were different back then—and never went back. But this lady has mad street smarts, I tell you. She knows how to sell and make deals, that’s for sure!

It was so sweet to hear about her love story…I never knew…falling in love at first sight but still a romantic twist in the end before marrying and staying together for 60 years.

Her advice for the youngins of today is to use your head, don’t just follow what everyone says, and to manage your life on your own terms. She stressed the importance of not hating anyone and finding happiness in the joy of others.

Antonietta would love to make it to 100 but is super content with her life and finding joy in her family, especially her grandkids…she obviously means my kids.

Such a fun rollercoaster of short stories over a long 81-year life—from a post-WWII childhood in a tiny town in Italy to heart attacks to love at first sight. But Antonietta’s mantra seems to be: love life with no regrets and keep your family close!

Video: Italian MIL & her Sis Working Out w/Me!

Check out Antonietta (red pants) and her sister doing an Orangetheory @ Home workout with me! In high heels of course…

Read the translated transcript below or listen to the audio (Italian only, sorry!).

Interview Transcript Translated to English

Danielle: Many of the things I talk about on the blog are related to eating healthy, exercising, not smoking, not drinking, etc. Pretty much the opposite of how you live your life.

Antonietta: You can’t ask me those questions.

Danielle: Yes, yes, let’s do it, let’s do it. You are 81 years old.

Antonietta: Yes, almost 82.

Danielle: You smoke. You have a glass of wine occasionally, enjoy life with prosecco, a Campari Spritz. You’ve had two heart attacks. You recently lost your husband. What do you say Mamma…what, in your opinion, is the secret to a long and happy life? How did you manage to come this far? What do you say?

Antonietta: Calmness. Patience.

Danielle: You have patience?

Antonietta: I do, a lot of patience. For selling. There’s a lot of patience. And living well with yourself, you must love yourself, and I love myself.

Danielle: Many years were difficult for you too.

Antonietta: I know, but I always loved myself, I always loved. I always tried to see the good in others. Sometimes it’s not there, it doesn’t match what I want, but I didn’t care, you know? And I always tried to serve and please the people close to me, to make them happy.

Danielle: What brings you joy in life, in general?

Antonietta: Seeing the people close to me happy, especially my children. Daughters-in-law, sons-in-law. As far as I can see, they love me, then if behind my back they tell me to go to hell, I don’t know about that. But as far as I can see…

Danielle: Do you regret anything in your life?

Antonietta: No, I regret nothing. What I did, I would do it again, because at the time, that’s what I had to do, and I did it. I regret nothing.

Danielle: Did you ever think you would live this long?

Antonietta: Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Danielle: And what times are like that?

Antonietta: When I was sick. I thought, who knows, but I hoped, it’s not that I gave up, I hoped to live longer to be with my family.

Danielle: How old were you when you had your first heart attack and the second [one].

Antonietta: I was 68 years old, I don’t remember. No, for the second, I don’t know. 12 years ago, 15 years ago the first attack, 15 years ago. Both in Italy.

Danielle: Because I remember the second.

Antonietta: No, I was in Italy.

Danielle: What would you have done differently in your life if you had known you would live this long?

Antonietta: Many things. The first thing I would have done is studied, because I didn’t.

Danielle: How old were you when you stopped going to school?

Antonietta: 10 years old. I went up to fourth grade.

Danielle: Why? What did you do instead?

Antonietta: I don’t know, I was in a small village, the teacher liked me, she always kept me with her, took me around, took me everywhere. But at school, she didn’t make me learn. What I learned. Only by reading. And life experience.

Danielle: But at 10 years old you moved to Ortona or when?

Antonietta: Until I was 18, I stayed in my village, Scerni, a small village. And at 18 we went to Ortona. And there I started working, sewing bags.

Danielle: But what did you do? From 10 years old until 18 years old.

Antonietta: Nothing.

Danielle: Nothing?

Antonietta: My mother would tell me, clean up, but I didn’t.

Danielle: Why didn’t you?

Antonietta: I didn’t like it. I dreamed, when I did the dishes, I dreamed that one day a machine that washes dishes will come out, and when it comes out I’ll buy it immediately. And so it was.

Danielle: Good, good, but at home, did you help your mom? No.

Antonietta: Sometimes. What little I could help.

Danielle: What else do you still want to do in your life, from big to small, tell me.

Antonietta: Always stay calm. Think. What could I do when all my children come down. My own satisfaction that I see my children calm, not happy, just calm, and they are all well as far as I can see. What they let me know what I see. Then if there are other things behind I don’t know.

Danielle: But with your life, you said you would have studied.

Antonietta: I would have studied psychology.

Danielle: Like my mom, it’s very interesting.

Antonietta: I like to look at people and understand the person, what they think with their eyes. I really like facial expressions.

Danielle: And what else?

Antonietta: Nothing. What I did I would do again. Because I fell in love with a man. Truly in love. I saw him from afar, I was a young girl. I was cleaning near my home. And I see a handsome young man. I thought, you will be mine.

Antonietta: After a week I met him. I was dancing inside because we didn’t go to discos like now. You invited friends and they came to the house and danced at home. He came too, and since then we’ve been together.

Antonietta: Then, in the meantime, after 3-4 months, another handsome young man arrived. Who already offered me the ring, He wanted me…so we got engaged. Raffaele was waiting for me outside, I went out, I said no, it’s over between me and you because there’s a young man who wants me and we’re getting engaged today.

Danielle: And then?

Antonietta: He was upset. I was engaged to this other young man for 7 months. Then there were some complications with the family, the family didn’t want it anymore, and we broke up. And then I got back with my husband. I took him back. There were some complications, well, it’s okay, we don’t have to tell everything now.

Danielle: Okay, last question: what would you advise young people to do with all the time they have in their lives? What do you say?

Antonietta: To do things with their heads. Not to be fooled by others. Always do what they feel they should, they shouldn’t take advice from mom or aunt or sister or mother-in-law. They give advice, but they have to make their own decisions, manage their own lives.

I give you advice, but you don’t have to take it literally, what I’m telling you, you adjust it yourself, you know? So, it’s advice. Love yourself. Don’t hate. For example, I don’t hate anyone. No, I don’t hate anyone. Sometimes when someone talks to me or tells me something I may get angry. Anyway, I’m offended for a couple of days like that, but then I say, well, I don’t have to live with that person. When I see others happy, and others’ happiness makes me happy too.

Danielle: Do you want to live until you’re 100?

Antonietta: I would like to, I would like to but.

Danielle: I want you to live.

Antonietta: We can’t think or say, oh, I’ll live to be 100, who knows?

Danielle: But let’s hope for that.

Antonietta: As long as my mind is clear…but my body…it’s a bit flabby, but I feel good. Even though I have some aches and pains, but I don’t even think about it. When someone says I feel bad, I feel bad, try to feel good, try not to say I feel bad because the more you say I feel bad, you feel bad. When someone says I’m tired, I’m tired, try to react, to go forward because if you feel tired you lie down on the chair, it’s over. I don’t complain, I don’t complain about anything. I’m sleeping and you tell me to get up because you have to, I get up and cook.

Danielle: You’re always on the move, always on foot, always on the move. Like that, you’re athletic. You don’t do sports, but you’re always moving, always.

Antonietta: I don’t do any sports. Nothing, but I’m still active.

Danielle: But for you this is like a sport? To cook, I mean, to go shopping, I don’t know, to clean.

Antonietta: I like to look, I like to see, I like to know the prices here, the prices there, I like all these things where I have to use my head for a moment. I feel good with my head.

Danielle: And what’s the one thing you really prefer to do in the world? I don’t know, for you to cook or? I don’t know.

Antonietta: I am…I was really made to be an accountant, no, like…a merchant. I like to sell. I like to buy. And for what I know, I know how to sell and I know how to buy.

Danielle: You also love playing roulette.

Antonietta: Roulette is a game, I like to play. It’s a satisfaction, it’s not a satisfaction because I know I’m losing something. Yesterday, for example, I bought those tickets, 10, I lost 10, I got them. I don’t win, but it gives you that feeling that you’re doing something that satisfies you. In the end it’s not a satisfaction, it’s a loss. Yes, it’s a loss. But I have the conscience to say, I lost €10. Tomorrow I’ll buy it again, if I lose tomorrow, then I won’t play for 5, 6 days, 10 days, even a month.

Danielle: And what else do you still want to do? I’ve already asked, I know but…

Antonietta: What I’m doing now. I like to satisfy my grandchildren, when I am with them, even if I can’t do many things, but I like to watch them. It already gives me satisfaction. I have beautiful grandchildren. And when they tell me they want something, immediately, I get up and do it. It’s my life, I don’t know, it’s my life. I’m not saying this just to say it, but it’s my life. That’s the most important thing for me.

Danielle: Okay, thank you Mamma, thank you.

Antonietta: You’re welcome. But I enjoyed it.